Who Wants To Live Forever
by TheResurrectionist
Summary: Gabriel's heaven after Lucifer kills him is a dark, rocky shore. There's a strange man next to him, but Gabriel can't remember anything. The man doesn't want to. Written for the prompt: The day after Lucifer kills Gabriel, the two brothers talk. Very angsty. Reviews are supremely appreciated. LostMemory!Gabriel and Guilty!Lucifer Title taken from a Queen song.


A/N Title taken from an amazing Queen song. Angsty everybody. Please enjoy!

The small boy sat on the rocky shore, small legs kicking out in front of him.  
The sea was vicious today, grey and stormy as the boy threw pebbles off the side of the cliff.  
It was windy, storm whipping his golden hair around, but he paid it no heed.  
For some reason, today was a special day. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten to the side of the cliff. In fact, he couldn't even remember his name. And it didn't bother him.  
Nestled there, he threw stone after stone in, watching them plummet slowly as the sky darkened even more, storm getting stronger.  
The boy sat and waited. He felt like that was what he was meant to do, even if it was cold and wet. He'd always been cold and wet. Always would be.  
The minutes ticked by like days, wind howling around him like the storm knew he was there.  
He flinched when a hand dropped on his shoulder, turning around as the person revealed themself.  
It was a tall man, hair as gold as his, dry even though the rain had begun pounding down a few minutes ago.  
The man was beautiful, the most beautiful thing he'd seen in all of his existence. But all he knew was the waiting, sitting on a shore throwing rocks into dark water.  
"Who are you?" He asked calmly, watching the man sit down next to him.  
The man was at peace on the ground next to him, tension flowing of of his shoulders as he settled on the wet stone.  
"It's not me who matters." The man said simply, almost sadly. The boy accepted that.  
They both stared into the water, watched the waves pound the shore with a serenity that seemed unnatural.  
The boy, after a few minutes, turned to the man.  
"What does it mean?" gesturing at the storm.  
The man turned. "It's you."  
"Me?"  
He waved a hand. "The waves, the storm. That's all you."  
The boy thought about it. "Who am I?"  
The man chuckled, but the sound wasn't like the boy had expected. "I'm not sure I know."  
This didn't placate the boy. "Who are you?" He asked again.  
"Not sure I know either."  
The boy frowned. "You don't seem to know a lot."  
The man chuckled again, bitterly. "That I do not."  
The silence stretched on again, both tuning out the howls and crashes that spun around them.  
"It's hard," the man began after a few minutes. "I don't really remember my brother."  
"Your brother?"  
"He ran away."  
"Oh." The boy said. "That's sad."  
The man continued. "I didn't see him for so long, and then when we met, I ruined everything."  
"Did you hurt him?" The boy asked, eyes wide. The man patted his gold hair down, rubbing his hands tiredly over his eyes. "I killed my brother today."  
The boy looked at him, heart clenching. Suddenly, it didn't matter that much to him.  
"Are you going to kill me?"  
The man frowned and didn't respond.  
The boy sighed and waited again. If all he knew was how to wait, surely death would be welcome.  
But not if he had to ask for it.  
He closed his eyes, convinced for some reason this would be the last breath he would take.  
"Relax," he heard. "I couldn't kill you right now if I wanted to."  
"Why not?"  
"Just stop asking questions!" The man said sharply, breathing quickening. "You're always asking questions!"  
The boy shrunk down, trying to make himself smaller.  
The man took a few deep breaths and turned to face the boy.  
"I just...I just can't deal with this."  
The man was near tears, the boy could tell. How strange that an adult ever had problems.

He placed his hands on the man's shoulders, seeing the amazing blue eyes being swallowed by tears.

"Your brother," he said slowly. "Was he bad?"

The man sighed. "No. No. He was the best person I've ever known."

"Did you want to kill him?"

The man ignored the question, grabbing the boy's chin in his hand.

"Your eyes…" he said, voice shaking. "Yes…I….I miss him."

The boy found the man's eyes. "Good." He said defiantly. The man chuckled, surprising him.

"What?" he asked irritably.

"It's just…you remind me so much of him."

There was silence.

"He told me I'd kill him. One day." The man started. "And I didn't believe him. Said he was crazy in all ways of the word. And then I fell, and everything changed."

He took a deep breath, watching the boy as he did. The boy sat still, eyes never leaving the strange man's face.

"I saw him. And there was nothing I could do. He was in my way. Or, at least, that's what I told myself. And the second I twisted that blade into him, the second those eyes looked at me…I knew I had lost everything. Every last drop of love." His eyes were haunted.

"And that's why I'm here."

The boy shot him a questioning look.

"To make amends."

The boy gasped as the man began to glow. Two large, gold wings spread from his back. He tried to scamper away, but something in the sad man's eyes kept him transfixed.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'll never say it enough times, but…."

He looked into the boy's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel."


End file.
